Seeking that Big Gym-Gasm

I am a gym whore. I put out to work out!

In just one year, I have belonged to 5 gyms! I joined each for a different purpose, and it sure seems that I am a gym commitment-phobe, not unlike many of the clients I treat for their relationship issues. Ugh!!!

I joined one gym for its convenience, another for its many machines, another for its elegance, another for its spin classes, and another because it seemed to have everything. The everything-gym is brand spanking new and it makes me want to dump the others. But when I go there, I feel like I’m cheating. Maybe I need a good shrink!

Here’s what happened today. Convenient Gym has racquetball courts in addition to workout machines and a spattering of group classes. The machines are often broken, and the classes are conducted by some sub-par instructors who show up only occasionally. It’s hardly a professional workout atmosphere! One of the instructors is a forgettable 4x4 male, who by day is a postal worker. He has us dancing to music of the ‘70’s on a carpet floor, which makes it almost impossible to move around in our sneakers. It is evident this guy never had athletic training. However, I can roll out of bed and be at this gym in 3 minutes. Yet, I wonder what this guy is doing here. Why did the gym hire him? I complained to the owner. He told me everyone loves taking his classes. It’s probably because there is nothing else available in this convenient location. But as a dancer, I need more depth than this in a workout.

Searching for depth in life is a familiar cry for me. For as long as I can remember, it’s been a requirement for my love life, as well as for my friends. I quickly lose interest and patience in the superficial. So what do I really seek? I know that no one can survive constant drama, otherwise she’d burn out. When my personal life was overly dramatic—and traumatic—I learned to channel the drama into my career. Appearing on fast-paced and unpredictable TV was a likely solution.

But my search for depth may be a metaphor for all my life’s goals. And it is never-ending. Is this the reason I’m cheating on Convenient Gym? All I want is that big gym-gasm. Why is it so hard to find?